I am not my work

Written , What's Your Story? , Storytelling , Work

I've wanted to be on TV since I was 5 years old. At first, I wanted to be an actress, I wanted to see the bright, shiny lights with the large cameras in a studio all focused on me.

Then I wanted to be a news anchor like Tumi Makgabo, Khanyi Dlomo or Mandlakazi Mphahlwa. I wanted to be the woman reading the evening news at 7pm with millions of South Africans watching and listening to what I had to say.

As I got older, I realised that being on television was not for me. I was shy, I didn’t like the spotlight, I hated make-up and I am terrible at remembering lines but still, television was a dream and passion that refused to die. I did my research and after matric, what I really wanted was to be one of the people behind the scenes. The ones who craft the story, interview the people, and get viewers hooked on a show and hungry to see what will happen next. That’s what I set out to do; I got my first job in TV right after varsity and it was magical! The jib cameras floating in the air mesmerized me, writing scripts that told people what to say, blew my mind, directing presenters on where and how to stand, was amazing! I knew this was my purpose on earth and I could not imagine my life any other way. I was happy.

With great power comes great responsibility

What quickly dawned on me as I watched my career in the TV industry take shape, was how much power people who make TV have, and this power if misused could cause more damage than good in an already decaying society.

I know that money doesn’t last, and a bad reputation cannot be erased.

I watched crew get subjects drunk for them to be more comfortable in front of the lens. I saw researchers pay people to pretend certain things were true when they were not. I witnessed TV shows open up people's emotional wounds and, once the episode aired, leave them like that, broken and embarrassed, all for entertainment. I know what type of shows could make me rich, I know the type of work that could write my name in the TV stars, cementing my future in the industry for life. I know the type of storytelling that could cause a stir on social media and send millions of viewers my way.

I also know who I am and what is good. I know who God is and what narrative he wants me to tell. I know that money doesn’t last, and a bad reputation cannot be erased. I know who I am and who I want to be in the TV industry. Trash TV and making a mockery of people was never my vision. It never will be. My purpose has never involved following the trends – it is to stand out and if it means not being chosen or picked for work because if it, it’s okay.

I refuse to cause people to fight in the name of making content, I will not put sex on TV in the name of increasing ratings. I will remain a believer and do so even in the stories I tell. I will not quit TV because I don’t agree with the normal, I will instead stand my ground and shine my light for all to see.

By Telamsile Mamba