Making church a safe space for young people

Conflict is unavoidable. It’s a natural part of all relationships, and the church is not immune to it. But how we resolve these conflicts is important. What if we begin to see conflict as an opportunity for growth and to get to know each other's stories instead of a reason to end relationships? 

Presiding Pastor of AFM South Africa, Pastor Thandanani Savhasa, says one of the issues that the church has struggled with for a long time is inherited divisions and stereotypes that have been passed down from older generations. She says that this is something they want to change for the youth of AFM. 

Heartlines Community Mobilisation Assistant Facilitator, Fana Ndhlovu took the participants at the empowerment breakaway through a Bridge Leadership Engagement, where he shared how they can help create spaces for their church, particularly young people, through the power of story-sharing. 

Meeting young people where they are at

Fana says that “when you speak to young people or try to get them to open up, it’s important that you not come across as a detective – because one thing teenagers hate is having people in their business”. “An easy way to reach them is by engaging in simple conversations; asking safe questions while showing genuine interest.”

Fana says safe questions include things like:

• How have you been?
• What have you been up to?
• You’re in Grade 10 now, what subjects did you choose? What made you choose those ones?

These types of questions lay the groundwork for them to open up more without it feeling like an interrogation. 

One of the delegates, Rethabile Molelekoa says that he realised through the River of Life exercise how "the space became safer and felt safe when answering questions from my team because we were all engaged in the conversation." Pastor Sfiso Gabela added that “as pastors we are always open to hearing other peoples stories and rarely do people ask us about our story or struggles, and this moment felt surreal but exciting that I too could tell my story." 

In his closing, Fana reminded the delegates that “we all share similar stories and possible struggles or privileges, but by sharing our stories, creating safe spaces and letting others share their stories we can build youth groups that are compassionate, accepting and empathetic."