Exploring Fatherhood: Perspectives from a Youth Deanery

At the Bryanston Catholic Parish, young members of the Roman Catholic Youth North Deanery gathered for a workshop led by Heartlines facilitator Fana Ndhlovu. The event served as a platform to introduce participants to the Fathers Matter programme, alongside other Heartlines projects like Values and Money and What's Your Story?. However, it was the Fathers Matter content that struck the resonated the most on the day, evoking powerful emotional responses from the youth in attendance.

The Spiritual Role of Fathers and Social Mentorship

"God has ordained for us to be there," Fana began by emphasising the spiritual leadership fathers and men are called to provide. He shared personal anecdotes about how his mother stepped up in challenging times, but stressed that men should lead with love and understanding, rather than authoritarian control.

Fana also spoke about social fathers or father figures within the church who were instrumental in his journey to becoming a youth leader. These mentors can provide guidance and support, filling the gaps left by absent biological fathers and underscoring the critical role of the community in nurturing future leaders.

To deepen the discussion, the deanery watched the film "In Time", about a gold miner who works far from home but is determined to be present in his daughter’s life. This narrative hit home hard, particularly for one attendee who shared her own experience of having a father who worked as a mine engineer.

She noted, "As I got older, I realised it’s not that my father wanted to be away; instead, he had to be away." This realisation fostered a deep respect for the sacrifices made by fathers and highlighted the film's relevance in discussing the impact of fatherlessness.

The Harsh Impact of Fatherlessness

Pae Maposa, another young participant, shared her perspective on the effects of fatherlessness, stating, "Fatherlessness leaves a void that echoes through generations. We need more male mentors to step up, but we must recognise that mentorship alone can't replace the constant presence of a father." She emphasised the necessity of building networks of support where young people can find guidance and encouragement.

Pae also stressed the need for more male mentors to bridge this gap, though she questioned whether mentorship alone suffices. "Even with mentors available, it's not enough… a mentor can be available to you for a certain period of time, and it's not 24/7, like you would expect a father to be."

A Call to Action from the Youth

The gathering concluded with a call to action for building supportive communities that provide safe spaces for sharing and growth. The youth recognised the need for authenticity and consistency in these interactions, asking, "Whose responsibility is it to build these communities with safe spaces?"

Through these shared stories and reflections, the event highlighted the invaluable contributions of fathers and male mentors, urging young attendees to recognise their roles in shaping individual lives and communities.

As the young people in the room expressed a desire to take these programmes further, they emphasised the importance of fostering meaningful connections and creating environments for young people where everyone feels valued and heard.