The thing is, while we appreciate the thought of encouraging people to take a stand against gender-based violence, we believe that a societal change such as the one we’re hoping for requires a deeper, longer focus. So we’re calling it #Beyond16Days.

We mustn’t stop until it ends – and it’ll take more than revisiting the issue on an annual basis.

As Fathers Matter, we want to talk about prevention rather than cure. We want to help break inter-generational cycles of violence in families by starting early. By teaching boys and girls that there’s a different, more caring way of doing things – and that they can be the change. We also want to encourage men to embrace the idea that they have huge potential to make a positive, lasting change in the lives of their children, if they are more involved in caring for their children. There’s so much more they can do than send money.

This will take more than a legislated change, more than a hotline and more than a campaign. It’s a heart change, starting with us. But it will be worth it.

Will you join us?

Violence is less likely in homes where fathers share chores equally

By Wessel Van Den Berg

When fathers play an active and equal role in the household and are a positive presence, it relieves the burden of care on mothers – but also results in a household where violence is less likely to take place.

There seems to be a relationship between men’s contribution to care work, their presence in the household, and the risk of violence.

More than 80% of children under the age of five live in single parent households with their mothers. Two of every three children live apart from their fathers. In addition, the workload in some is very high with women doing eight times the amount of care work in households that men do.

Known as an intergenerational cycle of violence, evidence from around the world shows that boys and girls who directly experience violence or witness violence against their mothers are more likely to repeat these patterns in their adult relationships.

Creating non-violent households

A long-term strategy to prevent male violence is to prevent violence against children, before they become adults.

But to prevent violence and improve gender equality, men must become more involved in household care work.

Working with men and fathers to challenge harmful beliefs around men, masculinity, and caregiving offers unique opportunities to address intimate partner violence and violence against children. It will also break the intergenerational cycle of violence.

The role of fathers and rethinking the concept of fatherlessness

By Professor Letlhokwa George Mpedi

In other words, what is important is not the biology but rather the role that “a father” plays. Nduna outlines that the loss of this figure is often accompanied by distress and anxiety accompanied by a range of emotional, financial and psychological support deficits.

In the South African context, there are links that can be made between fatherlessness and gender-based violence. Gender-based violence is so prevalent that South Africa has been compared to war-torn nations. Calls for action go largely unheard, and the scourge persists as the root causes often remain unaddressed.

As Yandisa Sikweyiya et al found in 2016, children who grow up with absent fathers may be at an increased risk of experiencing various forms of GBV in their lives. However, the understanding of the links between GBV and absent fathers is currently inadequate and requires greater scrutiny. What is apparent, however, is that there is a sense of stability in homes with father figures.

As Eddy et al concluded, “seeking to address the prevalent absence of fathers will have to tackle both the predominant restrictive notions of masculinity and fatherhood and the current problematic dynamics that exist between men and women.

Fathers at the centre of ending GBV

By Allison Cooper

“GBV is disturbing and disgusting. I always talk about raising a boy child well because they will have problems in the future if they are not raised properly. This is why we have aggressive men today,” says Sekgale.

“Fatherhood should be taken seriously and fathers should mentor their boy children to learn to talk about their feelings instead of acting them out. Boy children should not be taught to be strong and ‘never cry’, like most African cultures encourage, as they bottle up their anger and only show it later when they feel powerful,” he adds.

According to Sekgale, gender roles in families should be blended and no gender should be superior to the other.

“Families should teach their children to speak up about these issues and not tolerate any level of abuse, even if it seems small. Some people, because of their family backgrounds, don’t see anything wrong with GBV because they are used to living with it and have normalised it. It is very wrong and these people need to be helped.”

IN THEIR OWN WORDS...

This video shows the impact that absent or abusive fathers have, particularly on women, and encourages us to see how we can stop the cycle of gender-based violence by helping men to be positively and actively present in children's lives.