Raising my children while living with COVID-19: A father shares his experience

A trip taken abroad which offered a chance for new business opportunities and bit of leisure and entertainment saw *Sizwe Dlamini becoming the second confirmed case of COVID-19 in Gauteng, South Africa.

Shortly after his return from the Europe he began to show symptoms of a fever. After a visit to the doctor, it took about three days to confirm that he was infected with the virus.

Two days later, on Sunday 15 March 2020, President Cyril Ramaphosa made his first address to the nation with one of his early measures to curb the spread of the virus being the shutting down of schools. Thereafter some companies followed suit and released staff members to work from home.

As social distancing, and now lockdown, has forced many to remain at home for longer periods of time than usual, the role of the family has become a focal point.

The Heartlines programme, Fathers Matter, shines a spotlight on the role men play in their families and advocates for active and positive fathering. Sizwe admits that his ability to parent while living with COVID-19 was put to the test, having lived in isolation from his family, and later getting the opportunity to live freely with his family after receiving masks.

“Fortunately Covid-19 is not a chronic disease, so you don’t have to live with it for ever. It’s a viral infection that feels very much like a bad case of the flu. With symptoms like fever, lethargy, coughing etc, your ability to parent is limited,” he says. “You’re a little more limited by the fact that you have to self-quarantine, which means keeping a distance from your children.”

It has also been important for him to protect his children from the sensational spread of fake news, with a deliberate attempt to spread fear.

“This is a scary time to be living through. Fortunately for me, I am healthy so the severity of my infection wasn’t all that worrying, my doctor has been a helpful source of information throughout the process,” he says.

“The trick is to always clear the air, and to talk about what is happening in the world. This is a new disease, so it’s fairly difficult to know what is real news, and what’s fake. You often have to do a little bit of digging yourself.”

Along with his wife, they’ve tried to set a routine that brings a sense of normalcy in their lives.

“Our eldest son is continuing with his school work. Our 2 year old son does require a little bit more attention during the day. That said, we’re currently busy with a 1000 piece puzzle that’s near completion, we’ve got card games, chess and other games that we’re yet to play. We cook together, do the garden together and every now and then we watch a good movie. There’s always something to do,” he adds.

He admits that his family has been brought closer together.

“Our family has essentially been forced to be together because of the isolation period. That said, it is a great time to get to know each other,” he explains. “It’s very easy to jump into a car and attend a meeting, or go to the gym, or even meet up with friends, but we don’t see how much of that time is taking away from our families. Being at home and spending time with just those closest to you is a rewarding experience, and makes you appreciate the people you often take for granted.”

In terms of his sons, it’s been a pleasure for him to spend time with them as he discovers new things about their personalities.

“We all have a similar sense of humour and are each quite artistic. I’ve come to an intimate understanding that I’m raising very special individuals, and that my time with them during this period of their lives, is actually limited. One shouldn’t have to isolate to spend valuable time with the people you love the most.”

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the family